We burn out.
It’s a slow process – maybe similar to what a snake feels as its skin ages, dries out and becomes less flexible – I can imagine so. Its only gradually that I notice I’m repeating my stories, turning good rituals into mindless habits, missing cues I’m normally quick to pick up on, sparking forward-moving ideas less and less often.
Experience has taught that this slow erosion of self inevitably leads to the day when I realize that all my body & mind want to do for the rest of my life is read and sleep: Passive please, not active any more.
But my soul?
Always in these times, my soul needs attention.
I’m not quite there yet, but I’m close. Here’s where I’m at:
– some jobs (just 2, and we’ll stop there) have become bewilderingly impossible to complete (OMG. Why can’t I DO this?),
– incomplete conversations spiral dangerously close to big daunting emotional messes that will require serious clean up…
– I’ve taken many small measures to save time – some essential soul-feeding things went first. I know better too – it never helps, since more mindless tasks & needless commitments rush in to fill the available space….
– the TO DO list has grown overwhelmingly longer and longer
– urgency increases at the same rate that new obstacles appear (also a definition of road rage)
– intolerance – from bad spelling to unfortunate choice of clothing – all seems grounded in a pandemic lack of courtesy, and I Am Now Crotchety.
So no, this time, No burn-out. Instead, I attend to my soul.
Friday morning List:
1. write a friday morning list. (HA!)
2. jump in the lake at least three times daily.
3. read Marasu Emoto: Messages from Water and the Universe, because Mister Emoto’s theories provide simple, beautiful soul-food.
4. examine all commitments, find in them what feeds my soul, Then engage.
5. lift one thing out of habit and place it back into the sacred.
6. sing, loudly, for at least twenty minutes.
7. with gratitude for its’ past service, find something I no longer need and actively give it freedom.
8. arrive somewhere unexpectedly.
9. sit absolutely still for longer than I think I can. notice.
10. Transform every complaint into appreciation.
Happy heat wave, everyone (it’s kind of like a series of snow days, except in summer: it’s okay to slow down a little).