Candles are lit at 6:22am. They burn straight up with no flicker, and this mesmerizes me – that fire can be so still.
It has been stiflingly hot here for days – heavy sun from skies pregnant with this rain and well beyond term. I played cello outside in it for two days at mid-day, felt like a solar collector. In heat waves like these only Georgian Bay can help – but Marnie tells me the water is still only 8 degrees after our long long winter. That’s killing temperature.
Four candles with perfectly still flames – they take me inward, to rich marrow thoughts. I find my Dad there and pause, drinking him in – so honoured to know him as my father. My two Aunts – so different and so strong – Pause, Bow. drink. My Mother, who I found in my left hand yesterday, which was mush after long hours of solo playing – she squirms as I bow, but I bow nonetheless, deeply.
My sister. My neice and nephews. Vita Cooper who was levitated by colour in Iceland. My kid, who was being born 18 years ago today and is now in Japan, resonating. Pause. Bow deeply. Drink.
The thunder is a rumble in my belly and bones, stirring up things that have long lain dormant. Lightning zaps them with renewed energy and in this way July 2014 comes. There is a great deal of richness out there, calling-to-meet, and meet I shall, without question.
Sometimes an hour can last for days.
Canada Day, 2014.