I dig into the Brahms E minor cello this morning and find myself swimming strong in a strong river – a great deep and fast and roiling that collects and contains a watershed of stories as it carves it’s way through the land.

Why, Mr. Brahms.  It is good to meet you here from across the centuries, far far off the page.  Shall we immerse ourselves together?

His piece curves and bends around it’s internal themes, climbs great hills and tumbles from impossible heights.  Its landscape demands constant, intense commitment, even and especially in the pianissimo sections where the piano commands the melody line.

There are sections I have not internalized yet, where I am yanked back to the written notes, back into my technical head, back into training my fingers that “this is not contortion – this is easy…”.  It’s not easy, but it will be, once I’ve found the technical key and relaxed enough to repeat repeat repeat, repeat.  All the while the river flows on, steady and constant – I know I can immerse myself again.


These days on the brink of Spring 2013 seem to be deep with a tectonic level of unrest.  Old contracts that were seemingly set in stone are fracturing on their own, or being consciously, sometimes painfully re-negotiated to reflect a new set of boundaries, priorities and shared realities.

It’s both personal and political – US debates (!?!) over gay marriage and civil rights,  and indigenous peoples with the profoundly deep roots of Idle No More which support dignity, demand clarity and re-negotiation over native civil rights, and seek to work with respected settler allies to protect the land from the commodity boys in their banking suits.

This river we’re in right now is not like the Brahms’ E minor, no.  This river is clogged – with ice, with debris, with garbage collected over miles and years of mutual and self-perpetuated … abuse?  Is that the right word?


This is nothing that the natural cycles of the planet can’t handle.  It will pass, and this debris will be flushed downstream to the filtering grounds.  The spring floods will recede and the landscape will be different – perhaps shockingly so, but there will still be life.

But we humans, with our cultural and personal tectonic shifts – puny in some ways, when you look through say, Commander Chris Hadfield’s eyes.  It’s telling, isn’t it, that we need to use terms like ‘the environment’, or ‘our natural resources’ to describe the planet, as though it’s outside of our bodies?


There’s a southeast corner of my house where the fig tree grows new leaves, framed by two windows.  The easterly window hosts a christmas cactus with pale apricot blooms and the southerly window an amaryllis with eight deep red bells, just opening now.  I can see them unfold as I write.  Spring birds are busy outside; our two inside cats are glued to the windowseats, quivering with fascination.  A slight spring chill reminds me that my feet are bare.

Over all of this there’s a great, vast, pulsing stillness.  I drink it in through my pores, breathe it into my lungs, feel it quiver on my skin.


Regardless of the way I feel about the man and the political party we’ve just given a majority mandate to, I accept that this is the choice we, as Canadians have made.  I am digging in, just a little deeper,  so I can help to re-build what will quite likely be pulled apart these next 4 years.  Things like our beloved CBC.  Our commitment to the environment.  Possibly much, much more.

My husband observed that in his victory speech, Mister Harper had nothing whatsoever to say about a vision for our greater role on this planet, how the vast wealth that we enjoy as Canadians can be used to help others less fortunate (which is just about everywhere else in this world) – nothing visionary to say in acknowledgement of our great, big, hearts; our unique, self-deprecating humour; our grand ability to astonish with art, music, theatre, film and written or spoken word.

He did speak about personal safety and security (jails, military); decreased taxes (i.e. responsibility for contributing to community & cultural programs); and the bottom line – his ‘healthy economy’. In the greater context, though the agenda that Harper offers is important, it is also easy, predictable, comfortable, small-minded ….self-centred.  This belief system is part of a global trend that I believe we shall all have to grow up and out of, if we want to survive together on this planet

More rewarding by far, and much more difficult to commit to are  inclusive, global issues – poverty; environment; cultural health; responsible global citizenship; climate change; education; food; energy.  I look forward to the day when Canada participates in these discussions in the spirit of creative generosity and innovative global responsibility.

Here’s a positive book to read –  The Watchman’s Rattle, by Rebecca D. Costa shows promise, even in the first chapter.   http://www.rebeccacosta.com/book

Happy Wednesday, all.