Posted on Leave a comment

Colour Pages #7: White


It’s dark down there – difficult to see, to dig and keep digging.  At the bottom of it, when you get there, you find an understanding that changes the shape of your world.    LindenwoodtrailLookout

I’ve just watched a film about a young prosecutor with great natural integrity who is working in Frankfurt just after WWII.  He is drawn to dig for answers in places where his colleagues are oddly reluctant to go, specifically about what happened at a work camp in Poland.  What happened at Auschwitz is revealed to him through the stories of survivors and he realizes with growing horror that all 8000 soldiers who worked at the camp are complicit.  That everyone who knew what was happening, what had happened, and did nothing, was complicit.


A culture which covertly rewards cruelty and entitlement to violence is a culture grievously sick.  It’s a culture of people who need desperately to examine and understand their own internal darkness.  It is us, our blood memory.

We are all of us in need of Truth, and then the reconciliation that leads to healing.


Here’s an excerpt from a story I read on social media this morning, published by “A Mighty Girl” (an organization that collects such stories and offers them as empowerment to young people)

Twenty years ago today, Keshia Thomas was 18 years old when the KKK held a rally in her home town of Ann Arbor, Michigan. Hundreds of protesters turned out to tell the white supremacist organization that they were not welcome in the progressive college town. At one point during the event, a man with a SS tattoo and wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with a Confederate flag ended up on the protesters’ side of the fence and a small group began to chase him. He was quickly knocked to the ground and kicked and hit with placard sticks.

As people began to shout, “Kill the Nazi,” the high school student, fearing that mob mentality had taken over, decided to act. Thomas threw herself on top of one of the men she had come to protest, protecting him from the blows, and told the crowd that you “can’t beat goodness into a person.” In discussing her motivation for this courageous act after the event, she stated, “Someone had to step out of the pack and say, ‘this isn’t right’… I knew what it was like to be hurt. The many times that that happened, I wish someone would have stood up for me… violence is violence – nobody deserves to be hurt, especially not for an idea.”


Colour pages 1-6 are meditations on red, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet.

White is made of all these colours, in balance.  Enlightenment.


I offer that white is kindness – a simple act of compassion that can unravel any knot of negativity, ease pain, transform anger into forgiveness.  Firm, clear and clean, the white of compassion is a balm to the discolourment of pain.

"Sorrow", otherwise known as Mother Canada, from the memorial at Vimy Ridge
“Sorrow” from the memorial at Vimy Ridge

White is a still, safe, tender place where stories can be told, and heard.

It’s where we find the courage to heal ourselves.

Posted on Leave a comment


In the Pour House, just up from our funky B&B on St. George.  Black & Tan is 3/4 gone, and the stained glass toucan in front of me smiles with greater and greater intention.  He’s right – I want to say something.

My sister just left after an excellent day &.5 of wandering together as Us.

[Us, on this trip, included some mighty powerful people: Fran the great-mom, Dom the great-daughter, me and Lee, the daughters.  We were missing Anna, another great-daughter, but we’ll fix that.

o great toucan, I need an image.]

We were here

Two were here:

And the other two went here:

We all went here:

And we all went here:  , and here:

Oil and water.  Acronyms: ROM, AGO, TIX, TTC, CAB.  Our Mother Of The Perpertually Helpful.

Dear me.

We walked, we looked, we sat, we ate, we found and lost and found and discovered and missed so many things because we were mostly talking, but more than that, listening….

In two days I found the women in my family [save for Anna, who will come].


Posted on Leave a comment

Friday list

These guys are everywhere, like a carpet

There are softer things that need attention.  Small things that don’t register as important until you look a little closer, slow down a little more, open up a bit…

From that idea comes this week’s list:

1. Take note of the times when I feel odd, for however short a time – any kind of odd will do – unexpectedly odd.
2. Make deliberate space – in my mind, my house, my job, my belief system, etc – for something smaller, less strong, less experienced, less motivated, less_____ than me.
3. Remove all the little cat hairs from the window pillow.
4. Examine something that I use every day, very very closely.
5. Take note of the shoes of everyone I meet.  Address at least one thought at each person’s feet, or foot.
6. Identify three outstanding debts I owe to myself.  Attend to them.
7. Give away five good books.
8. For ten minutes every day, breathe the way I think, then think the way I breathe.
9. Hike somewhere out there, softly.
10. When practising cello, pay attention to the beginning and the end of each note.


new fingers on spruce