Oh, I’ve been beneath what I know. Like MacFarlane in his Underland, pushing through tight corners and passages to get to deep cathedrals and even deeper private chapels. False trails, loops, switchbacks, new openings, waterfalls – mucking about in places where there’s only sound, touch and intuition available to find a way forward. I wouldn’t […]
I’m glad July 2019 has happened, and I’m just as glad it is done. Feels like I put in five or more hours every night in heavy emotional weight-training at the “Know Thyself” YWCA. Felt like I’d be there forever, grunting & whimpering through gut crunches, then woke up this morning with a clear head, […]
My appearance belongs to you more than to me. This became clear through my work for #Selfie in 2014. It is a kind of negotiation – I choose my glasses, my haircut, my clothes, which are all clues about the way I would like to be perceived. You see these choices in living action in […]
Pick yourself up off the floor, sweetheart, and go figure out what success means to you now. Way you go now, that’s it. The drama’s just a distraction you made up to keep you down there, so drop it. Get up, and get going. Something has happened; my starting point has shifted. No, it’s more […]
Today the breeze is playful and cool, pushes me out of bed, teases me out of my sluggishness – it was a long night of paying attention to good friendship, while L was in surgery. My liver was talking all night long. It went well, Kate writes, he is resting now. I’m in first coffee […]
The piano room is the only space I’ve yet to spend decent working time in, these past three months. It calls me today, teasing out some soundtrack to the observations, the tectonic shifts of spring 2019. I’ve spent the last three days going through two months of correspondence I’ve not had time to properly respond […]
I’ve ordered a caffe latte and a glass of the house red here at Caffe Piansa, since it’s 3:40pm and there’s not nearly enough caffeine in my system. The waiter tells me that Italians don’t like the taste of milk with their wine, so I order sparkling water as well, to clear my palate. They are having […]
I cannot imagine my life without the experience of the Cotton Factory artist residency. On all levels – personal, professional, academic, philosophical and physical (since I have now moved my work and my life here) – it continues to enrich, expand and amplify my world. Residencies are transformative things, I’ve learned. In some ways, contradictory, […]
Miles traveled, journeys completed, contracts in the final approach to resolution. Dad’s passing was five days ago, my capstone presentation four days ago, our first family gathering now two nights past. I drove south through and out of the fog this morning, to find sanctuary. For the first time in many weeks of research, trips […]
My dad has died. Twenty-seven hours ago, now. Oddly, I have no sense of his absence, rather a steady, gentle regard, a muscled arm around my shoulders as I write and work. There are tears, of course. Of course. When Dave quotes Hamlet in an email, Now cracks a noble heart. Good night, sweet prince; […]
When I told dad I would present my final masters research (with some bad-assery) in ten days, all the terrible anxiety and fear vanished from his face. He smiled. He is in the final, non-verbal stage of dementia, frustrated beyond imagining that he has no words and only emotion, no time, only an endless Now […]
Seven hundred pages and four years of journals, four hundred pages and four years of blog posts, two hundred photographs, twenty projects / performances, thirty poems, three notebooks, and three binders full of journal articles and syllabuses, a bookshelf of Community Music and related literature. All but the last two are my data, which I’ve […]